Dancing with The Flying Tightwad

Every so often my computer lands on a website or a book arrives in my hand and it's effects can be seen rippling through our lives.

A few years ago in a small sea of toddlers and infants my house looked like a bomb went off. I had the "can't have anyone over syndrome." Shortly thereafter there was a deluge of reminders in my inbox from the Flylady nagging me to "put out my hotspot" and to "get dressed to the shoes." Oh, I doubt the Flylady wishes to be accused of "nagging." In fact she encourages her readers to knock it off with our own nagging and get off our own frannies. It certainly helped. My husband would leave for work at o'dark thirty in the morning and I would wake a few hours later to a sweet note of encouragement on my shining sink. The tidy environment affected him positively as well. He would put his glass in the dishwasher instead of leaving it on the table in the livingroom. One caveat of flylady's system is that you get rid of your stuff. Clutter free living. Attachment to stuff is dealt with swiftly and surely.

Fast forward a couple of years and I discover the (defunct) Tightwad Gazette newsletters all in a tidy book at our tiny town library. In discussing my find with a fellow homeschooling mom, she shared that she has all three volumes in one big book titled, The Complete Tightwad Gazette and she would be happy to loan it to me. I felt even more frugal by borrowing it instead of buying it!

After reading it cover to cover, I began to implement some of the frugal ideas. Some were no-brainers that I was already doing. I had a groovy hit or miss store that I would visit in my hometown that purchased items from other stores going out of business, overstocks, etc.. The deals were phenomenal. I found gourmet and organic packaged food that I normally could not justify the expense of at our regular markets. I stocked up.

Soon my well-stocked pantry was bursting at the seams, inspiring my husband to build a cabinet on the large landing of the basement stairs. There began the dichotomy of the flylady and the tightwad. To this day I am trying to reconcile them.

When I was growing up, Mom grocery shopped on Friday. On Thursdays the cupboards were bare. We were not rich or poor, just average. So I thought. I thought that was the way everyone lived until one day I visited a friend's house. She actually had a closet in her kitchen that was chock full of stuff. Her mother did not need to grocery shop for months if she did not want to! Not to mention, that we could have all of the junkfood a young teenager could want. I had no idea people lived like this.

I wonder if my mom thinks I am crazy to stock our pantry so. I know she thinks my lack of junkfood must be crazy because every time she comes over in her arms are bags full of chips, cookies and some token fruit (just to appease me, I'm sure). Bags full of junkfood are a far cry from when when I was growing up, but that is what grandmothers do, so I'm told. I guess if I am stocking up on pesticide free healthy pantry staples, Mom feels that someone must provide some transfat and msg and it might as well be her. The children like this stuff she tells me. So I pick my battles and stash a few items in with the food pantry donations when no one is looking. Ssshhhh.

A couple of years ago my favorite store closed (I almost cried!) and since then I have been forced to shop the flyers of the competing supermarkets, make infrequent trips to Trader Joe's (an hour away!) to stock up and occasionally I can find a treasure or two at our local Big Lots, but it's not like it was before. On occasion I catch myself stocking up on the sale pantry items. I have much peace knowing that I could feed our family in a pinch and do not need to run out and grocery shop every few days. Being well-provisioned is one less anxiety and getting a bargain at the same time is a bonus for the tightwad in me.

Balancing frugality with "flying" is this unchoreographed dance that I do with myself. I sometimes end-of-season-clearance-shop for our children's next year sizes, but that with my bargain stocked pantry is only the tip of the tightwad iceberg. Since we do not have a big barn like the writer of the Tightwad Gazette to store a plethora of stuff that we "might need" someday, and sometimes I feel like the old woman who lives in a shoebox, Flylady seems to be leading this tango.

When I put this in the perspective of our faith, the dance is still the same. It is about being a good steward with what God has blessed us with, sharing our blessings with those less fortunate and being well-prepared. Keeping in consideration that we must have confidence in our Lord's providence. St. Joseph - provider for our Blessed Mother and our Lord, St. Francis - who reminds us to share with those less fortunate, St. Anthony - who always intercedes for me to find just what will benefit and bless our family, and Our Lady - who was the perfect Mother to our Lord, Pray for us!!